Rhema: James 1

I realized, though not fully yet, that “pressures”, “challenges” and “testing’s in life” happens to us with the intention of bringing our FAITH into exposure. Makikita natin saan nga ba or kanino nga ba tayo NANANAMPALATAYA.

FAITH, FAITH, FAITH.

James 1:3 (The Message) – The testing of our faith will produce in us the STRENGTH TO CONTINUE.

Here when it said “strength to continue”, it speaks of perseverance. The GOAL of “challenges” in our life is to make us ALL WE SHOULD BE. Ibig sabihin LALABAS ang TRUE IDENTITY natin, what is real about us.

James 1:12 – Blessed is the man who keeps on going when times are hard.

Now let us break it down.

A. Blessed – the rest of the verse says, when you are blessed, you will receive a crown. And the CROWN we gain is LIFE. and it is promised to those who LOVE God. The question is, do we love God the way He commanded us in Matthew 22:37-38, to love Him “WITH ALL” we have and “WITH ALL” we are?

*This truth will only hurt those in pride, those who are half-hearted, and those who believed they have loved God but is unwilling to give all. And sadly, I’m not an exemption to this vulnerability.

B. Keeps on going – this simply means persevering, having the strength to continue, having the determination to push through no matter what. And it also speaks of those who are “loyally in-Love with God”.

C. When times are hard – TIMES ARE HARD! what could be a better explanation of this than to give my own example! Here is when I can say times are hard in my life:

*no money

*no funds or resources

*no projects to work on

*people around me are crazy (at least crazy in a way dysfunctional, things are out of order, out of place)

*sick brother, sick parents, sick me. that no matter how many prescriptions we take, we are not getting better, and when I pray, I started to ask what could I have been doing wrong all this time? So I took it all on me.

*a family in NEED and IN DEMAND of me. (you have an idea of when you are the only person who works to provide for the whole family)

*times when there are no other means to make ends meet.

*sleepless nights, headaches, and pressure out of all this and at the surface you can still see a smiling me. that’s not pretense, but trying to be strong inspite of…

*and the list can go on as long as it takes but you get the whole picture, right?

James 1:16-18(The Message) – Don’t let anyone fool you. God chose to give us NEW BIRTH through the message of TRUTH. He wanted us to be the FIRST and BEST of everything He created.

*it says “DON’T GET THROWN OFF COURSE”. Keep track with God. Is our heart still right with God?

*to KNOW the heart of God is to know this truth.

James 1:19

PAY ATTENTION: Be quick to listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. It is my JOB DESCRIPTION today to listen and listen well. To hear and not much to speak. To slowly chew out every word that comes out of my mouth, to always listen first.

James 1:21

Get rid of everything DIRTY and SINFUL. Don’t be proud to accept the Word that is planted in you. In simple humility, LET.

*LET – mean let’s allow God, submit to God, surrender to God, permit God, and be willing to listen and follow God.

If you don’t know what you are doing, pray to the Father. ASK BOLDLY, believingly, without SECOND THOUGHTS. Never, ever “WORRY YOU PRAYERS”.

Don’t ever count on what your hands are producing. Our efforts and own methods are only short-lived. Panandalian lng yan. Our own ways will NEVER give us satisfaction and will never attain what we intend to goal.

Now, what do I hear from God today? Don’t be just hearer. ACT on what you hear or else you might just well be good as deaf.

This is what the voice of God tells me personally today: Guard your heart and your people from the corruption and pollution of the Godless world.

Right now, my life is completely in a great challenge of FAITH. My prayer is that God will bring out in me an extraordinary FAITH, something i cannot think or imagine. I ask God to amaze me. My life, my future, my career, my family... all of me is in God's hands.
There's so many "EVEN-though's" in my life today that STILL i want Jesus above everything and STILL I know fully that God is my confidence. 


Live well. Live wisely. Live humbly. Live IN CHRIST.

Compassion in Action

Sundays are always the best day of my week. I got to really be filled with the spirit of God and refreshed my thoughts and my tasks. The best part of my Sunday was discipleship, where I could spend time with my fellow sisters, fellow disciples of Christ, spend time with my discipler. It was so much learning and fellowship is refreshing.

So anyways, this week we focus on “God’s Secret of Multiplication”. We are all born to multiply. John 6:5-15.

But I’d like to focus on this certain pointer that really thug my heart personally. Somehow, this has been what God was patiently dealing with me. I’m so much glad He is so patient with me, even though I am losing patience myself.

Talking about COMPASSION IN ACTION. Mark 6:34.

Mark 6:34 - There is no great commission without compassion.

The Message version -

When Jesus arrived, he saw this huge crowd. At the sight of them, his heart broke—like sheep with no shepherd they were. He went right to work teaching them.

King James Version –

And Jesus, when he came out, saw much people, and was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and He began to teach them many things.

We are designed by God NOT to be a CONTAINER of blessing but a CHANNEL of blessing. We must know our obligation in the life of the people that God entrusted to us. And yes, that means all the life of the people that God graciously entrusted to us – family, friends, boss, even strangers who happens to be there. If we don’t see the condition of the people around us, we will not do it for God; we will not do it purposefully and intentionally.

And those two words strike me even more. PURPOSEFULLY and INTENTIONALLY. I must do things for God not just to comply, but because I know in my heart I am destined to be productive and destined to multiply. Loving people is not about numbers, it’s all about compassion. And that compassion will result to multiplication. You will produce a loving family if you have planted love in your family. You will produce relationship, and yes, even a God-centered relationship, if you will really put your priorities on loving God first and loving the people He died for. Again, it’s all about compassion in action. That means our hands must be doing, never idle, our feet moving, our hearts caring, that everything we touched reflect God’s loving character, healing nature, and abundant provision.

We can do this. We may fail but we know that it is not fatal; it is just a stepping stone, so we will never give up. So let’s do it with the purpose of loving God, and let’s do it INTENTIONALLY.

So I will end up with this verse that speaks about Jesus’ heart about us, and this is the same heart that I want God to plant and grow in me. Let’s not lose everything God entrusted to us, especially the relationship we have with our family, friends, and fellow Christians.

John 6:39 – “And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day.” (NIV)

Only Connect: John 15:1-8

It is a brand new day indeed. I am looking forward to seeing the WORD OF GOD in a different way – with new eyes and ears and a fresh thirsty heart. Although my thoughts and emotions scatter in struggle with the old self, I know in my heart I am ready to go through this storm to step into another level of relationship with my God. I want myself to bring up the reality of the present situation of my heart when it comes to answering the question, “who is Jesus for me?”

I want a new passion for Jesus to awake in me and along it, my desire to awake into a person God wants me to be. I want to desire what God wants me to desire, to dream what God wants me to dream, to live in a way that unbelievers are going to know and believe the God I serve, and that my life will be an offering of praise and worship to the Lord, the God of my life. And yes, to claim that Jesus is the Lord and God of my life – in a way too personal (kind of) relationship.

I missed these days. I missed the WORD soo much. I missed the presence of God so much. I longed to be filled and longed for my cup to overflow, to pour out what God have abundantly bestowed upon me.

I was reminded this morning that, God never calls me in this career path I am taking right now if it’s not for His own glory. He will use whatever He has given me in whatever way He wanted to. I will let the passion for the glory of God ignites and live through the veins and the blood left in me, even if that’s all I got left to give.

Our life’s struggles are not an excuse for us not to be excellent in the things that we do. Being excellent includes all aspect of our life, not just the ministry. It includes our family, relationships, finances, leadership and other areas of our life. Excellence demands HUMILITY that we have to remove pride and we must be willing to obey Christ.

ONLY CONNECT. John 15:1 – 8. “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit in itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me… This is to my Father’s glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

Devotion

I wake up 4AM today, and remember to place everything in the hands of God, that I’m going to start my day this early, and see what God has prepared for me to do. I want today to be different.

Yesterday, during Sunday Service, I prayed to God to give me a different week. I don’t want to live the same old life I know. I don’t want the same old week. It was so amazing how God responded to my cry, how He filled my heart with His presence and His love. I felt loved. It was a day of worship. And while everybody sings praises, I in the crowd cried out a desperate cry. I couldn’t utter what the worship songs were saying; I can only groan a plea that I want God to change me. So there was this song our worship leader sings, my favorite actually – How He Loved Us by Jesus Culture. Then I was speaking personally to Jesus, I said, “Lord I don’t want to sing this song, I can’t utter the words, I don’t want to be standing here faking everything before You. I want to sing what’s in my heart. I want to speak what’s in my spirit….” And I was speaking to Jesus with my spirit, with words only He understood, with cries only He can comfort, with a broken heart only He can feel, and I was trembling before His presence. I felt pure JOY. I don’t care what the people around me were thinking about me, this is between me and my God. I will not withhold my worship to my God, that’s covenant sealed.

God gave me His words as if personally dealing what I have been overcrowding my mind and my heart.

John 6:5-15. I am the person like Philip in verse 7. I only look at the situation, and only look at the facts about my life, always calculating and analyzing how messed up I am on my own. But it is comforting what Pastor Oriel said regarding verse 6, “Sometimes we are so overwhelm by our problems that we don’t know what to do, BUT God knows what He will do. He already knows what He will do even before there was a problem.” “All of us are under testing. I hope tama ang response natin sa Lord.”

“I see Jesus in the middle of my situations.” – Pastor Oriel.

God want me to express my faith and not the recital of the facts of my life. God showed me Andrew’s character in verse 8, he see Jesus in the midst of the wilderness. I know that even in the most impossible situation, God can do miracles. “Don’t look on the situation, Tesa, look on the solution. I am the solution,” Jesus whispers gently. The miracle of multiplication happens when we placed something in the hands of God. Anything that touches the hands of God will bring multiplication.

So I prayed a prayer with a vow. My very reason and attitude in everything I do will be “for the sake of the KINGDOM of God.” I remember my family, my disciples, my leaders, my work, my future. I remember everything that I am trying to hold tight in my hands. I released them in God’s hands. And the hardest of all the things I did that day, is to place my heart under Jesus’ care. I know that my heart has been disarrayed and so full of longings. And right now, it’s not mine anymore, it belongs to God.

 So I thought about now how 4AM I wake up just before all my alarms go crazy, that today God moved. Today, God take the initiative in response to my prayer. My heart wanted change. So does God. And all it took was my willingness to place everything in His hands.

Today, I battle so many things and areas in my life but I thank God I remember to take this hour to place all things in His hands. It is fasting season for me, a time to give in to God and let go of everything.

I claim this promise that God gave me during my devotion this morning:

Psalm 18:43 “…You have made me the head of nations, people I did not know are subject to me.” I will stand up as the person God called me to be – a leader, a conqueror.

Prayer and Devotion

Lord I can feel my inner spirit crying out on the inside, and physically I am grasping for more oxygen. I am desperately crying out to get a glimpse understanding of Your will over my life. I want to see in my very own life the evidence of Your abundant love and mercy, the richness of what You can do to my life. I am crying out. Change me. Transform me. I have enough of me.

I know I must listen to Your word in a very simple sense but it goes too deep for me to understand. What keeps in preventing me?

Lord, I surrender. I surrender everything to You. From now on, I will not try to do it on my own way. There’s no way I can make or build what only You can make and build.

I only ask that You could show me my role in this whole process of change and transformation You are working in me. You already know that this is hard for me to JUST LET GO, but please show me how to do it with obedient heart and spirit. I want to learn SUBMISSION and total obedience in You Father.

I honestly admit I am clueless about this ministry I am claiming to live by. Show me Your will about the visions I’ve been allowed to see in my dreams. Show me my role, my part in the vision. Show me my purpose and how am I to live it in a very practical lifestyle.

Lord, show me the depths of Your love that gives abundant favor to my wretched life. I submit to the leading and initiative of the Holy Spirit in my life. Show me and teach me how to do the ministry.

Pulses and Heartbeats

Pulses. Heartbeat. Thoughts just have to flow. I always knew this feeling that a WRITER just knows when it’s time to take out the pen and outflow, overflow. Though I am a stranger to this thingy that I do, I just simply do it. It’s in my blood. It’s passion. And even though words won’t come out right and my handwriting is unpleasant, I will always see past through it. My heart goes beyond reasons and emotions and facts. I am writing about the TRUTH, the TRUTH about my life. That my heart beats for God. The only audience I expect to see in my heart.

Galatians 1 - 3

There is a stirring in my heart that I know God is dealing with me. His words pierced me like arrows. And so I am trying to break it down.

1.       Is the Spirit of God that I received when I accepted Jesus Christ by faith, still in effect with my life? Meaning, am I still living my daily life according to the Holy Spirit’s initiative?

… I know somehow I can look back hours ago, days ago, weeks ago, even months, that I have been technically striving so hard to present results, a quality fruit that is pleasing to God and that would honor Him.

… But today, words of Paul in his letter to Galatian churches, deals with my very ATTITUDE of doing it MY WAY. I am trying so hard. I honestly admit, I couldn’t breakthrough (to really hearing) what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me, to where He is leading me.

… The problem is maybe I am not willing to enter BROKENESS. I know there are times I am trying so hard to be BROKEN but I was really striving because I could not feel it, like my heart has grown numb and cold.

2.       The Gospel I claim to be preaching to other people, is it still the TRUE GOSPEL that I received? Or am I pushing too hard on technicality and keeping a LAW? Is it my purpose to RULE OVER the people I disciple OR do I preach the real life of Jesus to them?

… The problem is that if I will not be CAREFUL with how I connect with God, with how I’m living my relationship with my God, I could live in deception, and in that deception I am only deceiving others. I am becoming a FRAUD.

… I guess the question that I need to deal with is this: How is my relationship with the Lord? Am I still sensitive that He is with me all the time? Am I still allowing Jesus to change me everyday?

3.       Am I really claiming possession of the PROMISE of God in my life or am I just living according to the LAW?

… Galatians 1 -3 gives me a clear definition of what the promise of God really means. No more misconceptions, ONLY CHOOSE WHAT IS THE RIGHT PRIORITY.

4.       Honestly, how is my relationship with You Lord?

… I honestly admit that the life I live in the past days, weeks or even months is just a cover up, full of escape and pretention, (it was just) it turned out a HABIT to me. I settle for what’s easy to admit, what’s easy to carry but DEEP DOWN inside my spirit, it is very painful. And I escape all the more.

… Literally, the line was cut-off. Meaning, I am no longer connected spiritually. I died. You can put it as a spiritual coma.

… I could not allow Jesus to change me. I was dead.

… Because I was trying to cover up by living as if I had it all figured out, God had showed me in Galatians 3:21-22, that I am out of right relationship with God, and that He showed me the futility (the my pretentions are useless) of being so religious (a law-man), because only God can complete His promise.

… The TRUTH I gained now is that NO RULE-KEEPING, COVER-UPS and hiding in pretentions had the power to create life in me.

Galatians 3:26 (The Message) – By faith in Christ, you are in direct relationship with God.

… Living the life in Christ means for us the fulfillment of God’s original promise.

Now everything that must come out of my life must be from pure intention of having true relationship with Jesus Christ.

Galatians 2:20 (The Message) – I have been crucified with Christ. My EGO is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before anyone or have anyone’s good opinion about me, and I am no longer driven to impress God.

(Lord, help me find my joy in You. I’m so desperate and restless. Restore Your joy in me.)

Psalm 16

Meditating, defining, reflecting Psalm 16 in my heart. 

Psalm 16

¹ Keep me safe, O God,

for in you I take refuge.

² I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

apart from you I have no good thing.”

³ As for the saints who are in the land,

they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.^b

⁴ The sorrows of those will increase

who run after other gods.

I will not pour out their libations of blood

or take up their names on my lips.

⁵ Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;

you have made my lot secure.

⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

⁷ I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

⁸ I have set the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the grave,^c

nor will you let your Holy One^d see decay.

¹¹ You have made^e known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16:8 -  I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. 

                   *Lord I pray that you search my heart. Is my heart still running after You? Are you still my priority? Am I really not shaken when I say to You that I'm not letting go? Pierce my heart Lord with Your love, and mercy. I am unworthy to claim verse 5 and 6. 

Its been a long time since I last pour out on my journal. I have no good thoughts to bring to You today. All I know is that I need Your grace desperately. My life and my commitment to You has been INCONSISTENT. I have been unfaithful even until this morning. I prayed that all my motives and intentions in WHY I DO THINGS in the first place, be align to what I wanted to believe I desire to live -- a Life of total surrender to You and purposely loving You and loving the people You have placed around me. But its not always that way. I was living in my addiction to the virtual world, like its the only thing real to me. It was like an addiction next to coffee. I am guilty. I wanted to come out of this life I have formed in me. I haven't been living the real life. I messed up the real life and now all I am is NOTHING before You. I could not bring up anything in me that is pleasing to You God.

I want to fight. Lord Help me. I am weak on my own. I want the strong man in me to DIE so that everything else that I am DEPENDS on You. 

Lord, You are my Lord, and my Savior; apart from You, there is no good thing in me.

Alive Again

It is a great feeling to know that I’m alive. To struggle and to fight and to complete abandonment of self for the greater purpose of my existance. I’m alive again. Blood flows in my veins and my heart beats again. I missed this day. I love the Lord Jesus with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength, and with all my mind. He brought me back again.

Yesterday i cried out to God pouring out all my guilt and shame. I asked desperately for Him to take me back, to take me as I am, to take all my shame and pain. He was a merciful God for I have received grace and mercy even in the midst of my doubt and frustration. I thought He would never come for me, that He would never take me for I am filthy and unbearable. But I have received grace and mercy, a favor I am undeserving.

All I am now before God is in awe of His wonderful Love and His amazing grace. He never fails to be there for me. I want to once again dedicate my life to Jesus. And saying His name over and over again is sweet and beautiful. Jesus is the only person that can make me feel loved more than what I can long for.  He makes me feel whole again, lacking nothing.

I know that the consequences are there, during the times I’ve looked somewhere else for this kind of love. That in those searching times, I have hurt people in the process. I have learned so much and in that much I have hurt other people so much too. I never meant it to happen. I can only ask forgiveness now but I have to face the results of my actions.

To those people whom I have hurt in the process, please forgive me. I’m sorry that you have to be part of my mess but thank you because being part of it showed me a greater struggle to overcome. I have learned so much. And in the process I have found the greatest love in my life and my love for Jesus grew even more stronger.

All in all I am alive more than before. I can’t find a better word to describe this ecstatic feeling that I have. My spirit is delightful and my soul rejoices as if dancing again and again in a cloud of His presence.

Jesus is my beginning and my end. (Revelation 1:8)

Revelation 2:4-5: Do not forsake your First Love

I was caught in a fight this morning. I battle my own will over God's will. I know that what I've been fighting for isn't worth it compare to what God intended to give me. I was so stubborn.

I sit here in front of my computer, trying to pour out what happened to me over the past few weeks. I was full of compassion and so prayerful and loved the presence of God in the past weeks that everything went so easy even in the midst of pressures and so loads of burdens from family and friends.

Have you ever had that day in your life that you felt like the presence of God, the enthusiasm and passion for Jesus, and compassion for people suddenly left you? Well I do. And I really don’t understand why there’s only numbness and hardness in my heart. I can still remember the past few weeks, my Friday up to Sunday, I am so full of vigor and spirit to pray for people, to follow up, to read my Bible, to reflect on God’s word. I was so high I even had a breakthrough with my prayer life. I was becoming BOLD in this faith I am holding on to. I am stepping up higher than I can last jump into.

I prayed for a Word from the Lord to thug my sleeping heart, if ever that was the case. And I got what I asked for. He said exactly what is wrong with me. I was broken.

Revelation 2:4-5 “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.”

Little by little, I’m seeing it taking place. The WORD of the Lord strikes a great fear in my heart. Slowly everything is fading away. Slowly everything is being taken away from my hold.

I have FORSAKEN my FIRST LOVE. I couldn’t remember where it all started. And I have kept a continuous cycle of breaking His heart by turning for the things of this world to fill my longing heart, where only Jesus can fill.

I have been entrusted with much. Being the only Christian in my family, I have become the messenger of God’s love and salvation to them. Being a Cell Group Leader, I have been entrusted with people under my care. But I’m messing up everything God created around me. My life is a beautiful landscape from God’s point of view, except that I tried to add up accessories that are actually junk and not significant and not adding value to what it originally stands for.

So I prayed.  My spirit cried out in anguish. Oh Lord why is my heart breaking like this? It hurts. My heart is hurting for my stubborn longing. I have created a deep longing to be loved and wanted and cared for by someone tangible. Oh Lord I was literally taking the pen of authorship of my life. I’m trying to do it my own way and now that I’m caught tangled with it, it is just painful, so much painful to get out of this mess. My heart burns. My body is yearning for someone to hold to, my lips impatiently craving for a tangible kiss. And everything else around me is falling apart because literally, I was living inside my own created universe.

This is really painful breaking up with what feels good to me. But please Jesus, don’t leave me alone in this battle because I am too weak and I have a 100% tendency to fall back to this deception of living a double life.

Please take me far away from this mess.

Even if I lost it all, my hands will stay lifted to the God who gives and takes away. 

Psalm 38

 ¹ LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger 
   or discipline me in your wrath. 
² Your arrows have pierced me, 
   and your hand has come down on me. 
³ Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; 
   there is no soundness in my bones because of my sin. 
⁴ My guilt has overwhelmed me 
   like a burden too heavy to bear.
 ⁵ My wounds fester and are loathsome 
   because of my sinful folly. 
⁶ I am bowed down and brought very low; 
   all day long I go about mourning. 
⁷ My back is filled with searing pain; 
   there is no health in my body. 
⁸ I am feeble and utterly crushed; 
   I groan in anguish of heart.
 ⁹ All my longings lie open before you, Lord; 
   my sighing is not hidden from you. 
¹⁰ My heart pounds, my strength fails me; 
   even the light has gone from my eyes. 
¹¹ My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; 
   my neighbors stay far away. 
¹² Those who want to kill me set their traps, 
   those who would harm me talk of my ruin; 
   all day long they scheme and lie.
 ¹³ I am like the deaf, who cannot hear, 
   like the mute, who cannot speak; 
¹⁴ I have become like one who does not hear, 
   whose mouth can offer no reply. 
¹⁵ LORD, I wait for you; 
   you will answer, Lord my God. 
¹⁶ For I said, “Do not let them gloat 
   or exalt themselves over me when my feet slip.”
 ¹⁷ For I am about to fall, 
   and my pain is ever with me. 
¹⁸ I confess my iniquity; 
   I am troubled by my sin. 
¹⁹ Many have become my enemies without cause^[b]; 
   those who hate me without reason are numerous. 
²⁰ Those who repay my good with evil 
   lodge accusations against me, 
   though I seek only to do what is good.
 ²¹ LORD, do not forsake me; 
   do not be far from me, my God. 
²² Come quickly to help me, 
   my Lord and my Savior.