Monday, June 7, 2010

Remembering How to Fight...

Yesterday, i could not consider it at all the beginning of the conquest. what is it really that i aim to conquer? what is my sole purpose in this whole conquering idea really? i am lost and scattered in the past week. and yesterday is just an extension of it. and i have felt even worst than those days that i didnt care. only yesterday i totally screw everything.

i lost total sense of sanity and did everything backwards. i did not push for what i believe is right and just. i was totally out of sanity. i felt scared and weak and careless. i want to scatter my thoughts and now im open to everyone. i have made it clear for everyone to see that im open for attack. i did not ready myself but i have exposed my weakness and my insane spirit to everyone.

today, facing a new day, i want a new perspective, a new start to give a new shot, to give my ONE shot to make things right. i am repenting to all my sins. all my bad takings of this life.

i realized that i must not memorized all the traces of these wounds im badly being bruised. i must not meditate on the hurts and pains it brings in me. if i want to stand strong, i must be in the position to face a WAR, a battle that will last as long as im alive. so i must stay alive until the very end of this journey.

I AM.

Lost. scattered. unwell. these and more i will try to eliminate, relinquish totally and completely.

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