Friday Scattered Thoughts

We are being tested and being pressed from ALL sides and we know that the character of our Lord in us will never fail us. we have a responsibility though, that to fully trust in the Lord through faith means we have to pressed through all this pain, all this doubts, all this loneliness, and all this darkness in our hearts. BUT we cannot do it by merely fulfilling the LAW set before us, the law of life that is so full of pretentions and deceptions. This law around me saying, I can call on Jesus, and hide in His hands along the pains of this struggles, where in fact we are hiding from people, we are hiding from the world. we dont want them to know us, we dont want exposure. we will say then that we trust God, but them peoples? no i dont trust anyone of them. and oh i know of this dear friend i love, i know that friend of mine will understand, and so i will risk pouring out this clouds of burden to that friend of mine. but them poeples? i dont think they will understand me, they will only judge me, condemn me. i will face this on my own, i know God will hear me when i pray to Him because i am in pain and i know he sees my heart.


yeah right. God sees our heart. BUT DO WE? do we really see what God is showing us that the contents of our hearts? are we even willing to look at our hearts? or maybe we are only willing to feel our hearts. yeah, feeling is deceiving.


 We cannot do it on our own self, relying the works of our hands. our responsibility is to pursue God and the only way is THROUGH JESUS CHRIST. do you really know that name? well honestly, i know the name, but the big question in my life everyday is that, DO I REALLY KNOW THE CHARACTER OF JESUS CHRIST, more than knowing the name?


i honestly need other people to encourage me, to pray for me,  and if Jesus needs prayer from His disciples, how much more do i need it for my life too? how much more do i need to pray if all Jesus do is pray for me?


My heart is exploding inside of me... JESUS HOLD ME PLEASE!!