Devotion

I wake up 4AM today, and remember to place everything in the hands of God, that I’m going to start my day this early, and see what God has prepared for me to do. I want today to be different.

Yesterday, during Sunday Service, I prayed to God to give me a different week. I don’t want to live the same old life I know. I don’t want the same old week. It was so amazing how God responded to my cry, how He filled my heart with His presence and His love. I felt loved. It was a day of worship. And while everybody sings praises, I in the crowd cried out a desperate cry. I couldn’t utter what the worship songs were saying; I can only groan a plea that I want God to change me. So there was this song our worship leader sings, my favorite actually – How He Loved Us by Jesus Culture. Then I was speaking personally to Jesus, I said, “Lord I don’t want to sing this song, I can’t utter the words, I don’t want to be standing here faking everything before You. I want to sing what’s in my heart. I want to speak what’s in my spirit….” And I was speaking to Jesus with my spirit, with words only He understood, with cries only He can comfort, with a broken heart only He can feel, and I was trembling before His presence. I felt pure JOY. I don’t care what the people around me were thinking about me, this is between me and my God. I will not withhold my worship to my God, that’s covenant sealed.

God gave me His words as if personally dealing what I have been overcrowding my mind and my heart.

John 6:5-15. I am the person like Philip in verse 7. I only look at the situation, and only look at the facts about my life, always calculating and analyzing how messed up I am on my own. But it is comforting what Pastor Oriel said regarding verse 6, “Sometimes we are so overwhelm by our problems that we don’t know what to do, BUT God knows what He will do. He already knows what He will do even before there was a problem.” “All of us are under testing. I hope tama ang response natin sa Lord.”

“I see Jesus in the middle of my situations.” – Pastor Oriel.

God want me to express my faith and not the recital of the facts of my life. God showed me Andrew’s character in verse 8, he see Jesus in the midst of the wilderness. I know that even in the most impossible situation, God can do miracles. “Don’t look on the situation, Tesa, look on the solution. I am the solution,” Jesus whispers gently. The miracle of multiplication happens when we placed something in the hands of God. Anything that touches the hands of God will bring multiplication.

So I prayed a prayer with a vow. My very reason and attitude in everything I do will be “for the sake of the KINGDOM of God.” I remember my family, my disciples, my leaders, my work, my future. I remember everything that I am trying to hold tight in my hands. I released them in God’s hands. And the hardest of all the things I did that day, is to place my heart under Jesus’ care. I know that my heart has been disarrayed and so full of longings. And right now, it’s not mine anymore, it belongs to God.

 So I thought about now how 4AM I wake up just before all my alarms go crazy, that today God moved. Today, God take the initiative in response to my prayer. My heart wanted change. So does God. And all it took was my willingness to place everything in His hands.

Today, I battle so many things and areas in my life but I thank God I remember to take this hour to place all things in His hands. It is fasting season for me, a time to give in to God and let go of everything.

I claim this promise that God gave me during my devotion this morning:

Psalm 18:43 “…You have made me the head of nations, people I did not know are subject to me.” I will stand up as the person God called me to be – a leader, a conqueror.